Our Saturday started out a bit rocky. We woke up that morning and as what usually happens, Peter would beg for a few more minutes to lie in bed while I get up and start my day with chores like cleaning around the house, sweeping the floor, preparing laundry, etc. When he's up, he starts watching TV while I slave away around the house. It's been the melody of our marriage for as long as I can remember. And many times this year, this stark difference in the way we do things really started bothering me. I used to think I do everything around the house while Peter just lazes around doing nothing. If he did something, it's because I told him to. I felt like a mother nagging her son and I didn't feel good about it.
Until... we had this really serious talk and Peter pointed out all the things he didn't like about me. Like why everything has to be on my schedule or my way, why I get to be so mean to him, why I don't appreciate him, etc. etc. Naturally, this put me on a defensive stance but I learned how to keep my cool and really listen. He told me that it's not that he doesn't know what to do around the house because he does. Unlike me, he just needs time to get his system going at the start of the day. Unlike me, he's not an energizer bunny. Unlike me, he needs to feel loved and appreciated in order for him to be more productive (as for me, the more negativity I feel, the more empowered I am to do more than I have or need to). He wants to be able to work on his own time. And if I do remind him about his assignments at home, I shouldn't get mad about the fact that I am reminding him. Ahhh... the joys of marriage. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to marry someone who is more like me.
Until... we had this really serious talk and Peter pointed out all the things he didn't like about me. Like why everything has to be on my schedule or my way, why I get to be so mean to him, why I don't appreciate him, etc. etc. Naturally, this put me on a defensive stance but I learned how to keep my cool and really listen. He told me that it's not that he doesn't know what to do around the house because he does. Unlike me, he just needs time to get his system going at the start of the day. Unlike me, he's not an energizer bunny. Unlike me, he needs to feel loved and appreciated in order for him to be more productive (as for me, the more negativity I feel, the more empowered I am to do more than I have or need to). He wants to be able to work on his own time. And if I do remind him about his assignments at home, I shouldn't get mad about the fact that I am reminding him. Ahhh... the joys of marriage. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to marry someone who is more like me.
