A Walk in November (Alabang Walk Under the Moonlight)

My baboo Peter and I were supposed to be in Virac by now. Our flight was last Oct. 31 and we were scheduled to be touring Catanduanes until Nov. 4. But as luck would have it, baboo couldn't get off work. His job, being one of the top digital marketing strategists in the country, is very demanding. While we were in Bacolod two weeks ago for the Masskara Festival, he had a crisis situation at work. I almost had a heart attack! And so did Peter. We had this fight and we were almost on the brink of falling apart. His work can be really stressful and it's been affecting our marriage for a while now especially when I'm at this stage in my life when I'm being very needy, hormonal, emotional and insecure that sometimes (well, recently, it's been most of the time) I'd wish I'm single just so I'd stop hurting... just so I won't miss him anymore. 

This is actually the third time that my baboo has cancelled on me. The first was when I booked flights for Dumaguete in 2010 and last year when I booked flights for Bangkok. Although this is the third time that we didn't make it to our flight (I didn't want to travel without him), it's still hard getting used to it that when 6am (the time of our Virac flight) hit the clock on Oct. 31, I still felt a little queasy at the pit of my stomach. This is just one of the issues on top of a few more major issues we've been having in our marriage the past year. 

So anyway, to try and stop feeling sorry for myself, I'd do these morning and evening walks. And yes, the physical activity helps tame my increased sense of libido as well and I'd somehow feel better. Plus, it's good exercise and helps keep me fit somehow as my work requires me to sit for long periods of time. 

Anyway, since it's a long weekend and I really have nothing better to do except work, blog a little and do some house chores, I asked my hubby to stop watching DVDs first and come walk with me. (He's about to finish the final season of Smallville and I understand it can get addicting.) It was almost midnight. 

At first we just walked until the entrance gate of our village then went back home. As I was still needing some fresh air, I asked him that he walk with me until North Gate Cyberzone where call centers are located. We live in Rizal Village in Alabang and it's a long but manageable walk to the nearest business district where not only call centers are located, but several restaurants and shops as well.

It was a starry, windy and cold night. I couldn't help hugging him from time to time. I was eating my Cornetto while he was telling me stories about his work and some other trivial stuff. Baboo Peter is like a walking encyclopedia. He knows so many things about so many different topics. He is just so smart! His brain is like a sponge that absorbs everything he sees, hears and reads. It's one of the things I loved about him. Too bad he sometimes forgets things I tell him (like my movie date with Daena the other night, hehe). Nevertheless, he keeps me entertained with his stories and I like observing how his mind works. 

Anyway, before we knew it, we were already at the highway and we were having so much fun just laughing at the whole experience of us walking under the moonlight. It's really time together that we both need and since it seems that it has been so scarce for us the last few years, then we just have to make the most of the little time we can have together. He keeps telling me this is just temporary and that someday, when his dreams are all set up, we can have all the time in the world to spend together. I hope I'm still around when that happens.

It wasn't really our plan to head to the Cyberzone area this dawn but since we were both feeling relaxed and carefree, we headed there anyway. Then we saw a bazaar going on at 1 in the morning! There were a lot of people milling about too, mostly call center agents. So, dressed casually and a bit sweaty and all, we shopped! 

I ended up buying 10 blouses and 5 pairs of shorts for only Php1,000. Hahaha! They were factory overruns but still in good quality. I was so happy!!! Hehehe. 

After almost an hour of trying on clothes and finally paying for those I liked, we went to McDonald's for early breakfast (or was it late midnight snack? Whatever!). It was there where we spent an hour or so talking about us... our marriage.

I won't detail anymore the  conversation that we had but let me just say that it felt good to tell him things I've been feeling and thinking for a long while now... stuff that I couldn't bear to tell him before for fear of hurting him, for fear of me hurting some more, for fear of the worst thing happening between us. Thank God, the walk must have done us both some good because we were both calm, albeit teary eyed. We talked about some pretty painful things. Anyway, the long and serious conversation ended with a hug. I know I love him still and I'm doing my best to fall for him again. I'll just take it one day at a time. As one of my favorite songs goes: 

I still want you by my side 

Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried 

But I'm sure gonna give you a try 

'Cause if you wanna try to love again 

(Try to love again, try to love again)

Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby, I know 

The first cut is the deepest...